Kendall's got issues---
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: I'm dusting off my old DISTAFF-COUNTERS: challenge. How will kendall fare as she's forced to suffer the same humiliation and hell that Kick had to go through in the show? No double-standards here, everything goes!
1. Dead Man's Drop

**Kendall has issues**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Kendall had no idea what she'd been thinking! One moment she and Kick had been arguing -about what? Even SHE didn't know -AGAIN. Next thing she knows...she's accepting a challange to out-stunt Kick!

...and now here she was at deadman's drop. It started off fairly poorly, her skateboard/laundry board snaped her around before she was forcibly GUMMED to it by Gunther.

Now...she was looking at the edge of oblivion... "_Calm down...it's fine...if Kick could do it...how hard could it really be?" _She rationalizes confidently...

It was then she was pushed off by the impatient crowd and it was literally downhill from there...

She crashed into every rock, tree, pedestrian...

She tries to take a shortcut through a large above-ground pipe, but ends up wiping out. She falls head over heels, rolling out of the pipe and down the hill-

**CRUNCH!**

Kendal sobs as her poor cootchie slams right into a random sign pole, the momentum behind the impact causes her and the sign to swing, sending her sailing through the air-

**CRASH!**

She then crashes into a roof-

**CRASH!**

-And the next roof over-

**CRASH!**

-And over-

Finally her momentum ceased after a dozen roofs, she groans in pain, her legs sticking up in the air comically-

**CRUNCH!**

Which was a bad position to be when her errant skateboard came down right down on her poor cootchie...

Wimpering...she finds herself rolling off the roof in agony...

Below, Mr. Perkins is putting the finishing touches on his prize wining rose bush-

**CRUNCH!**

**BANG! **

**RIP!**

Kendal groaned as she lay in a mangled heap among the roses...

**CRUNCH!**

Just as the skateboard rolled off the roof and slammed down on her poor cootchie for the final time...

Kendal wimperd, "Well...at least the worst is over..."

Suddenly kick popped up, "Uh...Kendal? Your...NAAAAAAAKED." He stretches that last bit out with a smirk...

Kendal's eye's widen in horror, sure enough her clothes had been ripped off by the roses...and now the gawking rabble were laughing, wolf-whistling and taking pictures...she was in too much pain to scream...so she just groaned...

...

later, Kick videotaped an oblivious, naked Kendal as she pulled thorns from her rear...

Gunther was uncomfortable... "Uh..Kick? I feel like we might be crossing a line here..."

Kick shrugged, "Hey, if it was okay for me to be put through this, why not her too?"

Gunther looks thoughtful...then shrugs, "Eh, Fair enough I guess...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Stumped part 1

**Kendall's got issues...**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

...

Kendall had the perfect plan to get back at Kick! His idol Billy stumps would be at the mall for autographs in six days and having learned that he plans to stay in the parking lot until then, she was going to have him arrested for loitering!

She wasn't able to get there the first day due to an important Opera she wanted to see...so she came on the second day.

She Made sure Kick was there, called in an anonymous tip to the police and then sat back to watch the fireworks-

**WOOSH!**

Only to be swept up in a freak windstorm. While she was thrown around like a ragdoll...Kick just stood there, unaffected, resolute, and kinda badass(not that Kendall would ever admit that to anyone even under penalty of fireants poured down her mouth!).

Kendall was FINALLY able to grab a lamppost, although she was still being wiped about, at least she was anchored-

**RIP!**

Kendals eyes widen in horror as her skirt is ripped off by the wind...revealing boxers...

To her horror, she sees Kick smirk and whip out a camera- "Another internet classic." He quotes.

"Oh, come on! How are you able to NOT be whipped around by this wind!? It's strong enough to whip around cars for crying out loud! And the camera? Seriously? What do you carry that around Every-

**RIP!**

Kick smirked, "I'd be more concerned about yourself right now if I were you."

Kendalls face went from flustered to pale. Her 'breasts' were sliding off her chest and down her shirt! Frantically, she tried to grab them. But everytime she loosened her grip even a bit, the wind picked up again and nearly flung her away, forcing her to watch helplessly as her HEAVILY padded bra fell clean out of her shirt...and was blown right into a smug Kicks hands as he continued to film the whole thing.

Kendall giggled nervously, her mind raced quickly to talk her way out of this. "Heh, heh. Wow! Lot of crazy things getting blown about in this storm! I feel sorry for whatever girl lost that!"

Kick quirked an eyebrow, "You saying it's not yours?" He asked with skeptical coyness.

Uh, yeah! Of course! That could've come from anywhere in this storm! And I defy you to prove otherwise!

**RIP!**

Kick continued to smirk, "Exhibit A; the mosquito bites." He gets a close up as the last of Kendall's shirt flies away...leaving Kendall's exposed flat chest for all to see.

Her face goes redder then the sun...and she starts to sob...even worse when she fells the wind slowly but shirly pull down her boxers-

"No! No! No! Please! Let me keep SOME dignity!" She pleaded out loud as she tried to scrunch her legs together to keep it from flying away...but all this accomplished was accidentally kicking off her socks and shoes...and just like that...her boxers were swept away...

Kick chuckles, "Awww...it's the cutest, SMALLEST pussy in the world. Although credit, where credit is due. The carpet DOSE match the drapes."

Fortunately, the wind FINALLY dies down. Humiliated, Kendall covers up her tiny womanhood and flat chest and runs away in shame-

**WUMP!**

Right into the police she'd summoned to arrest Kick! "FREEZE PERVERT!" Kendall screams as she's maced...and then beaten up as she falls to the ground.

She's handcuffed and thrown naked into the back of the car and driven away while a smirking Kick cheekily waves at her as she drives away...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Stumped part 2(final)

**Kendall's got issues-**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Humiliated both of the shame, arrest and being scolded for being bailed out naked...a defeated Kendall resigned herself to staying indoors. Well...at least Kick was so busy humiliating her he apparently missed out on meeting that Stump guy, so that was...

And then the Cheetah Chung commercial promoting a shot of meeting Billy Stump came up...

Knowing that Kick would immediately get on this, she went about buying all the Cheetah Chung in town...but much to her annoyance she finds that Kicks slacker friend Wade had a private stash of the drink just for him.

Having no other options, she begins to drink her Cheetah Chug. Hoping to find the gold key before Kick dose. The drink is making her...a BIT agitated...but she could handle a little caffeine shirly?...

...

"Uh...Kick? Why is a naked Kendal jumping about on all fours and attacking people like a crazed, rabid Cheetah?" Asked Gunther confused.

"Who cares?" Asked Kick as he streamed the whole thing...

Gunther shrugs and drinks another Cheetah Chug...and nearly chokes to death on a golden key...

...

SOMEHOW Kendal was able to dodge the police- well, rip the police a new one in her frenzied state to such a extent that their too afraid to go after her -after her sugar crash long enough to escape and find clothes...

She then hears that Kick got the golden key! Desperately wanting to make sure that all this pain and humiliation wasn't for nothing, she moved quickly!

Knowing that the key was worthless unless they actually GOT to the stadium, she focused on cutting off their means of transport...

1\. A quick phone call to the national pageant director about telling his wife about his 'business trip' with his 'pen pal' was enough to get him to move kicks little sister's(Brianna Buttowski) pageant night to tonight. Thus depriving him of his parents car.

2\. She puts fake vomit an his older brother Brads bike to put him in too much of a snit to take Kick anywhere...

3\. She fakes an emergency call to the transit authority to mess up the bus schedule so Kick will miss the last bus to the stadium...

4\. Finally, she sabotages Wade's car... Or rather she was going to...then saw the hunk of junk was on it's last legs anyway. So she left it as is...and it collapsed before it could help Kick at all!

All in all she'd planned for everything...

**ROAR!**

Except for a Cheetah Chung charged Gunther apparently...

Hurriedly she raced after them on her bike. She angrily slammed into them over and over again. Frantically grabbing at their golden key. Gunther finally gets aggravated enough to grab her and throw her high...and high...and high-

**CRASH!**

Smacking her right on the stadium roof-

**CRASH!**

-Before coming down and smashing right into Billy Stumps Monster Truck.

Kendall finds herself driving an out of control monster truck. Billy is soon crushed, as are all the cars, her school marching band and-

**SPLASH!**

-the toxic waste pool.

A broken and battered Kendal drags her sorry, burning butt out of the wreckage. Soaked in toxic goo. She laughs at Kick as he enters. "HA! Your big night with Stump is ruined! I win Kick! YEAH!" She shouts as she steps on a high podium, closes her eyes and throws up her hands in a victory pose...and then her clothes melt off her in front of the entire stadium...

Kick smirks as he brings up his camera again. "Your absolutely right Kendall...you 'win'." He continues to stream as an oblivious Kendal continues to poses nude in front of thousands and the jumbo-tron...and her fake breasts again fall off to reveal her flat chest...again.

"Heh, Billy Stump's got nothing on this!" Smiles Kick. He then quickly turns his head to the famous dare-devil as he's moved onto a stretcher and moved past him. "No offense Billy." He says sincerely.

"Nah, it's cool. Naked Chick beats childhood hero everytime. That's just 'facts of life 101'. Send me a link at the hospital, will you?" He asks as he's placed inside the ambulance and driven off.

Kick gives him a thumbs up and turns back to a still naked, posing and obvious Kendal... "DEATH TO CHIMMY CHUNGAS!" She shouts with a defiant fist in the air...just as the toxic waste causes her hair to fall out...on both sides of the equator...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
